Make it stop.

OH God.

I just gave THE WORST PRESENTATION EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. I was so nervous, I talked too fast, and my voice was all shaky,and all I could think of was “Whatever you do, don’t say PORN, don’t say porn, don’t say porn, DONTSAYPORN!!!!”

My presentation was worse than bad. It was… painful. I was one of those horrible train-wreck public speakers that you can’t take your eyes off because THEY SUCK SO BAD. You’re afraid if you look away for one second, you’ll miss the part where they EAT THEIR OWN TONGUE.

Of course, the upside is that I’ll never have to present to a room of high-level executives again.

Because yes, friends, I said it.

PORN.

pornpornpornpornporn.

Arggghhhhh.
Send wine.